One of these nights I will get enough sleep . . .

. . . but it wasn't last night. Sadly, it isn't shaping up to be tonight, either.

So, I was blithely getting ready for bed last night, when I discovered that the carpet around the toilet was wet. REALLY wet. At first I couldn't locate the source of the moisture, but eventually found a dripping from one of the bolts attaching the tank to the bowl-portion of the apparatus. The nut was really loose and I couldn't easily reach it with a conventional wrench, so I figured that a socket-type wrench was in order. I finger-tightened it as best I could, put a pan under the bolt and a bunch of towels around the commode, and went to bed.

After initial unsuccessful attempts this morning to locate a socket wrench, I decided to see if I could, in fact, squeeze myself into the small space with a regular adjustable wrench and tighten the nut. Since the carpet was still damp and I was wedged in there pretty good, I got quite wet--but was able to get access and get the nut tightened. Unfortunately, I was a little too vigorous with my tightening . . . for as I met resistance, I heard a soft cracking and the slow leak suddenly got MUCH quicker.

Apparently, what I did was exacerbate a pre-existing crack in the toilet tank (I did feel better once I realized that I didn't create but merely worsened it). So I turned off the water, drained the tank, and resigned myself to yet another trip to Lowe's to purchase a replacement tank.

I couldn't locate the paperwork that went with the toilet, although the dates stamped in the top and inside of the tank indicated it had been manufactured in 1999, which is much newer than the house itself. There were other numbers stamped in there, as well, but online searches yielded no product names. Unfazed and confident in the helpfulness of Lowe's employees, I took several photographs of the relevant pieces, brought the tank lid (the most portable piece) along for the ride, and made the trek down Nolensville Road.

Disembodied tank in the bathtub:


The offending crack. You can just barely see it. It is actually fairly pronounced from the inside of the tank and I suspect had been developing for a while, but I couldn't get a very good photo of that.

At one point, I considered just leaving it like this . . .


So, to make a long story boring, it turns out that removing a toilet tank is fairly easy--it's finding the replacement tank that is the difficulty. Lowe's sells a few tanks separate from bowls, but most of the toilets they sell are in complete sets. The man who helped me suggested I go on the American Standard website and/or call the 800 number to try and ascertain the name of my particular model.

After 20 minutes of unsuccessful web searching, I broke down and called American Standard. I only had to wait on hold about five minutes before a nice lady told me that my toilet was discontinued in 1999 (yes, the same year mine was manufactured), it was not compatible with any other tank models (which frankly, I do not believe), and my options were either 1) find a used parts dealer who might have one lying around, or 2) install a whole new commode.

In the words of Charlie Brown, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

I was feeling very frustrated, wondering whether I could ask Jen to use the cramped little bathroom that the cats' litter box is in when she comes tomorrow (while at the same time THANKING GOODNESS that I have a second bathroom at all!), when it occurred to me to check and see what model that toilet is. Lo and behold, it was a match! So I made the executive decision to cannibalize that one, which is used only very rarely, and move the tank over to the one that's used very frequently.

The cats may be a little confused by this, but I doubt they'll even notice. After all, they don't even use it (would that they did).


TA-DA! Not quite as good as new, but so far so good.


All this plumbing excitement has successfully flushed away all the plans I had for this afternoon to get the house ready for Jen's arrival tomorrow. At the moment I'm really, really tired and hoping to grab a quick nap before heading out for NFG tonight. I'll have to run to Kroger to pick up a couple of things afterwards, then come home and change the sheets, wash the towels, run the vacuum, etc. All of which probably won't leave me with 8+ hours of sleepy time before I have to get up tomorrow . . . and thus the cycle continues.

Happy Birthday to my Mom!

We celebrated the anniversary of my mom's birth by going out to dinner on Sunday, and with a yummy chocolate rum cake last night, but today is the actual day. My folks were driving as far as Columbus today and staying over with our cousins there, so hopefully they are doing something fun to celebrate.

I stayed with my regular Tuesday kids this afternoon, and they were great as always. They are both really smart and funny, with very good manners tempered with appropriate childhood irreverence. They are a joy to be around. I usually get there at 1 pm on Tuesdays and stay with Emme (4) until we go to pick up her brother, Rees (6), at the bus stop at 3:45.

Emme is a bright, exceptionally happy girl--the kind of person who lights up whatever room she enters. But even so, some days she feels very sad when her mom leaves for work. She is used to this long-standing routine, is old enough to understand the very temporary nature of this separation, always has fun with her sitters--but she loves her mom, and wants to be with her. In spite of everything she knows to be true, it hurts to be apart.

That is how I am feeling tonight without my parents. It has been a decade since I lived with them, our lives are different and in very different places--but still, whenever it is time to part after being together, I just wish it didn't have to be.

I'm trying not to judge myself too harshly for the tears our culture tolerates in a four-year old but questions in an adult. The further along I get in life, the more I understand that pain is like a side effect of love. Not a "possible" side effect, like dry mouth or oily discharge (gross), but part of the package: if you love, you will experience pain. And the measures are directly correlated, like a 45 degree slope on a X-Y plot. The greater the love, the greater the hurt.

I suppose it's not really a "side" effect at all--it's all part of the same whole. Rather than pain being something to resign one's self to as a kind of "necessary evil" that accompanies love, rather it's kind of like an unpleasant way to know it's working. I hesitate to make the comparison, but it's a bit akin to the four-hour involuntary erector set mentioned in one of those unpleasant pharmaceutical ads I was bemoaning the other day. Sure, it's not the intended desired effect, but hey, it's doing what it's meant to do! (Sorry, gross again.)

Clearly, I'm still working out this whole metaphor thing.

Anyway, I'm pretty worn out and should get some rest. Part III of the Great February Guestravaganza is only two days away, with the arrival of my friend Jen from Chicago on Thursday afternoon. She's coming into town for a quick visit to hang with the Blood:Water Mission peeps on Friday night.

'Til the morrow, I bid you adieu, dear friends. And caution you to read that paper that the pharmacist gives you along with your prescription, so at least you can have an idea of what to expect.

The end of a busy day

Ooooooh, I'm very tired. We have all been busy beavers today, and I don't have much energy left to write. The list of things we *could* have accomplished while my parents were here is still long, but many things have been crossed off along the way.

Today, we (in no particular order besides when I think of them):

-visited the vacuum/sewing machine repair store for a replacement part to fix my Singer
-picked up a few items at the Presidents' Day sale at Michael's Arts & Crafts
-bought 36 lbs of cat food at Kroger (it's okay--it's for three cats)
-baked a cake
-made bruschetta and Spaghetti Carbonara
-shredded boxes full of paper
-sorted through many boxes full of stuff
-took notes on and photographed the hat I made my Dad for Christmas atop the "Big Giant Head" he made for me to model hats on:




Notice how one side is stained dark, and the other is light. That's so I can choose whichever side will best accentuate the particular piece being photographed . . . cool, huh?


-Put most (but not quite all) of my spare yarn away in the newly assembled storage unit:



-Uh, and other stuff I can't remember, 'cause I'm too tired. Oh, yeah--wrote this blog.

Happy President's Day and see you tomorrow!

Things I don't want to hear about in the background (or the foreground, for that matter)

Life is all about balance. Sure, I was a little perturbed that I forgot to write today's blog until I was mid-bedtime preparations . . . but on the other hand, I am very much enjoying my new toothbrush, which lives up to its advertised "gum massaging" claims. Delightful.

Likewise, I was very pleased that my Dad had a chance to relax and watch a golf tournament on television this afternoon--he and my mom have been working so hard ever since they got here on Friday, cleaning out the gutters and under the stovetop (respectively), installing a new ceiling fan (Dad), cooking food and washing dishes (Mom), assembling the new storage unit for my yarn and knitting projects (jointly), and the list could go on. Needless to say, he certainly deserved a break, so I was glad there was something he liked to watch on TV.

On the other hand, it meant that I "got" to listen to the ads they put on during televised sporting events targeted towards men. If you are familiar with the pharmaceutical products Viagra, Cialis and Flomax, you probably know what I'm talking about. I don't want to hear about how enlarged prostate sufferers "stop and start"! I don't want to hear about how men with "E.D." can be ready whenever the time is right . . . eeeyuw. And I *CERTAINLY* do not want to hear about the possible side effects of the aforementioned "E.D." medications, which, well . . . let's just say that the unintended consequences can last up to four or more hours (after which time the user should seek medical help). If you don't know what I'm talking about, count yourself lucky. If, despite my warning, you WANT to know what I'm talking about, I'm sure the products' websites are obliged to share all the gory details.

We went for Mom's birthday dinner (the actual day is Tuesday) to Red Lobster in Antioch, which was great! After that, we planned on hopping across the street to do a bit of shopping at Office Depot, which the website had assured was open until 9 pm, but which had actually closed at 6. BOO. The neighboring store, BB&B, was likewise closed. But God bless Target, which stays open 'til 9 and had lots of nice goodies.

Okay, really time for bed now. Hope you had a nice weekend, and don't stick a finger in anyone's mouth this coming week unless you want to get bit!

A Dark Day on Nolensville Road

This morning we had to face the inevitable, and Dad and I headed out to Lowe's. We had our list all ready, and headed over the scant half-mile to the location right around the corner . . . when horror of all horrors! Not a soul was to be found, and the letters spelling "L O W E ' S" were gone from the distinctive giant blue gable!

A handwritten sign on a piece of posterboard attached to what had formerly been the entrance informed us that the new store was at the intersection of Old Hickory and Nolensville, a full MILE AND THREE QUARTERS down the road! Man, oh man! What an affront to our entitlement as Americans to travel less than a mile for purchases to improve our homes!

(Note: We just spent the evening watching the entirety of "The Best of the Colbert Report" DVD. I think SC's tone may have seeped into tonight's entry just a tad.)

Fortunately, we were able to recover from this travesty, rallied ourselves for the trek to the new location, made our purchases and returned home. If you yourself will be buying a new ceiling fan/light fixture apparatus anytime in the near future, you will need to buy "chandelier"-type light bulbs to go with it--it is apparently now Federal law. Children may be going to bed hungry in the U.S. tonight, but thank goodness the size of the light bulbs is being regulated.

Things sure are shaping up here around the old homestead. Tomorrow, I think we're even going to hang some pictures! I know you won't want to miss that, so I'll see you then.

A New Lynnberley Record

My parents have been at my house for almost eight hours, and we have not made even one trip to Lowe's! The longer this streak continues, the more I am considering phoning the Guinness people.

I woke up feeling pretty cruddy today--my sinuses were killing me, and I was suffering from general malaise (aka "the don't-wanna-do-nuthin's"). Basically, I think I was just wiped out and run down from the busy week, especially the being in Indiana four days ago, and 13 hours of babysitting yesterday. And don't forget last night's awesome episode of LOST! I expect I was merely one of an entire nation of malaised LOST-watchers after Thursday's installment. It took me back to my fond memories of being a young German major in Berlin (though I am confident that Naveen Andrews and crew did not actually shoot on location there). And, as always, raised more questions than it answered. Aaaah, LOST.

Not sure what all I and the 'rents will be doing this weekend, but I'm sure there will be some shopping involved. We can't possibly abstain from Lowe's forever. I expect there will also be a few more viewings of the Harry vs. Charlie bitefest video, as my father seems to be quite a fan.

Well, it's about time to take the granola out of the oven and stir it. Happy Friday and see you tomorrow!

Happy Hallmark Conspiracy Day!

No, I'm not really bitter about Valentine's Day. I mean, I do really think it is a "holiday" completely oriented around consumerism, but which of them aren't at this point? I promise that if The Man could figure out a way to turn a profit on Armistice Day, people would start putting giant inflatable doughboys out on their lawns. (Yes, I realize that it is now called Veterans' Day, but "Armistice" is a better word, and who doesn't love a good WW I reference?)

Not much to report today. I just got home a bit ago from my regular Thursday babysitting job, and will be heading out again momentarily for a special Valentine's Night gig with one of my favorite families. My house still smells of smoke from the fire I had in the fireplace yesterday--mmmmm. Better than Glade, in my opinion.

Mom and Dad should be in Cincinnati tonight, and arriving here in the early afternoon tomorrow. Hooray!

Happy Valentine's Day, and watch out for those cream-centered chocolates (yuck).