"Here's the story of a lovely lady . . . "

(Yes, that's a "Brady Bunch" reference.)

I am very excited about the fact that "LOST" returns with new episodes in less than two weeks . . . I love that show! Fortunately for me, ABC.com has made every episode up to this point, three entire seasons' worth, available in hi-def streaming video. It's a pretty smart move on their part, since it lets folks get caught up on what has happened so far, hopefully building anticipation for the series return on January 31. (On behalf of America, I'd like to tell ABC: "Mission accomplished.")

During the past week, I have rewatched all of season 1. I had seen it all before, and yet I was shocked at how many things I had forgotten. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with "LOST"--let's say, "devoted enthusiast"? I could go on at length about the interlocking lives of the characters, the mysteries of the island, symbolic commentary on community and isolation in our modern world . . . I won't, but I could. :) But still, in watching the shows again, there were tons of details and plot points that I had forgotten in the two years since I first watched them on DVD (God bless the Williamson County Library). It has definitely been worth the time I've invested to be reminded of the rich story the writers have woven about these characters as I look forward to finding out what happens to them next. Everything that has happened up to this point informs--more than that, actually forms--what is to come.

And I realized that this principle applies even more strongly to my own story. Everything that has happened in the 35+ years leading up to today has played a part in who I am and what I do. That's a whole lot of stuff, and just as with the TV show, I've forgotten most of it. Or not entirely forgotten, perhaps, but certainly operate on a daily basis without keeping in mind where I have been, what has led me to this point.

This is part of the reason why it is so important for us to share our stories with others--to let people in to them, certainly, but also to remind ourselves of where we come from, of who we are. But the risks involved can be significant--to tell one's story is to risk rejection, ridicule. To remember the past can bring pain that we'd prefer not to reexperience.

I started this blog in an attempt to give others access to my own story. I know that it is an important exercise just to tell it, even if no one reads. But I have not always been brave about sharing the parts that are not triumphant, colored by pain, confusion and loneliness. No one wants to read about that, I tell myself. But the truth is that I don't really want to write those parts. I don't want to do what it takes to report honestly about the dark places.

But the reality is: narrative doesn't exist without the darkness. Think of any of your favorite stories, in any medium--without some kind of obstacle and struggle, there's no story there. It's basic narrative structure that most of us learned in school, and yet for some reason, I don't want it to apply to my own life. Which is a large part of why this blog lies dormant for weeks and months at a time, when I don't want to muster up the resources to tell the hard parts.

So, I hereby resolve to try and tell a more representative story here. Lent is coming in a few weeks, and rather than giving something up this year, I have decided to accept the discipline of writing every day during that season. Not every day will be easy to report on, which is largely the point of my promising to do it.

This entry is getting really long, and I haven't really said anything about recent goings on (with the notable exception of "LOST" watching. So here's a really quick update, which I'll elaborate on in coming days:

- I worked really hard in December, stayed up late lots of nights knitting and wound up getting pretty sick. (I am now trying to remember to take my vitamins every day and be more intentional about getting enough rest.)

- I have sold some stuff on the webstore, but not as much as I had hoped--at this point, I am not losing too much money on the venture, but am a long way from making any kind of significant profit.

- I've been working on some new songs, and hopefully will be recording in the next few months. I also have more music programs coming up at the Edmondson Pike Library in March and April.

- Having been inspired by my cousin Jen and her kids, I'm going to try and grow my hair out this year for "Locks of Love." If you are reading this, I need your help holding me accountable for this.

Time to go make mac-n-cheese for Sunday night dinner at KG's. It is really frickin' cold here in Nashville right now, but it's hard to feel too blue when there's cheesy goodness to be had.