One of these nights I will get enough sleep . . .

. . . but it wasn't last night. Sadly, it isn't shaping up to be tonight, either.

So, I was blithely getting ready for bed last night, when I discovered that the carpet around the toilet was wet. REALLY wet. At first I couldn't locate the source of the moisture, but eventually found a dripping from one of the bolts attaching the tank to the bowl-portion of the apparatus. The nut was really loose and I couldn't easily reach it with a conventional wrench, so I figured that a socket-type wrench was in order. I finger-tightened it as best I could, put a pan under the bolt and a bunch of towels around the commode, and went to bed.

After initial unsuccessful attempts this morning to locate a socket wrench, I decided to see if I could, in fact, squeeze myself into the small space with a regular adjustable wrench and tighten the nut. Since the carpet was still damp and I was wedged in there pretty good, I got quite wet--but was able to get access and get the nut tightened. Unfortunately, I was a little too vigorous with my tightening . . . for as I met resistance, I heard a soft cracking and the slow leak suddenly got MUCH quicker.

Apparently, what I did was exacerbate a pre-existing crack in the toilet tank (I did feel better once I realized that I didn't create but merely worsened it). So I turned off the water, drained the tank, and resigned myself to yet another trip to Lowe's to purchase a replacement tank.

I couldn't locate the paperwork that went with the toilet, although the dates stamped in the top and inside of the tank indicated it had been manufactured in 1999, which is much newer than the house itself. There were other numbers stamped in there, as well, but online searches yielded no product names. Unfazed and confident in the helpfulness of Lowe's employees, I took several photographs of the relevant pieces, brought the tank lid (the most portable piece) along for the ride, and made the trek down Nolensville Road.

Disembodied tank in the bathtub:


The offending crack. You can just barely see it. It is actually fairly pronounced from the inside of the tank and I suspect had been developing for a while, but I couldn't get a very good photo of that.

At one point, I considered just leaving it like this . . .


So, to make a long story boring, it turns out that removing a toilet tank is fairly easy--it's finding the replacement tank that is the difficulty. Lowe's sells a few tanks separate from bowls, but most of the toilets they sell are in complete sets. The man who helped me suggested I go on the American Standard website and/or call the 800 number to try and ascertain the name of my particular model.

After 20 minutes of unsuccessful web searching, I broke down and called American Standard. I only had to wait on hold about five minutes before a nice lady told me that my toilet was discontinued in 1999 (yes, the same year mine was manufactured), it was not compatible with any other tank models (which frankly, I do not believe), and my options were either 1) find a used parts dealer who might have one lying around, or 2) install a whole new commode.

In the words of Charlie Brown, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

I was feeling very frustrated, wondering whether I could ask Jen to use the cramped little bathroom that the cats' litter box is in when she comes tomorrow (while at the same time THANKING GOODNESS that I have a second bathroom at all!), when it occurred to me to check and see what model that toilet is. Lo and behold, it was a match! So I made the executive decision to cannibalize that one, which is used only very rarely, and move the tank over to the one that's used very frequently.

The cats may be a little confused by this, but I doubt they'll even notice. After all, they don't even use it (would that they did).


TA-DA! Not quite as good as new, but so far so good.


All this plumbing excitement has successfully flushed away all the plans I had for this afternoon to get the house ready for Jen's arrival tomorrow. At the moment I'm really, really tired and hoping to grab a quick nap before heading out for NFG tonight. I'll have to run to Kroger to pick up a couple of things afterwards, then come home and change the sheets, wash the towels, run the vacuum, etc. All of which probably won't leave me with 8+ hours of sleepy time before I have to get up tomorrow . . . and thus the cycle continues.