Stop scaring the kids

First off, happy birthday Christine! How many, "Now you're 9!" cards did you get? (Probably none--I don't know that they make too many age-specific cards for kids approaching double digits.)

I sat for a family that I really like this morning, and it was a delight as always. The only downside was that little William wanted to watch this DVD of "kids' music" that was truly, completely HORRIFYING. I won't mention the title here, but it features footage of babies with their mouths replaced, like they do in those goofy sketches on Conan O'Brien. You know, the ones where they take a still photo of someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger and digitally stick in the moving mouth of one of the writers doing a terrible Austrian accent? Well, the babies featured in the DVD were moving, but the cheeseball special effect used to make them "sing" was the same. The alignment of the mouths was kind of wonky at points, which made the babies look kind of creepy. Some of the singing was *really* off-key, which was perhaps supposed to be cute? But which prompted me to ask (in my head), "Here, William--why don't we pop in this DVD of 'Mr. Fingernail Visits the Chalkboard' instead?"

The worst part was the closing song, "Rock a Bye Baby" (which if you think about it, is kind of disturbing to begin with . . . I mean, cradles falling out of trees?) The scene featured an adult female in dim light next to a crib. But the way it was photographed, with the angles and the colors used, it really looked to me like the Grim Reaper standing there. Which, when coupled together with the aforementioned problematic song lyrics, made for a very upsetting effect.

After that, *I* made the next media selection and put in a music CD. This was a vast improvement over its horrendous predecessor, but was still pretty lame. Oh, the singing and overall musicality was light years beyond what we'd been subjected to on the DVD--but it reminded me of my least favorite thing about most "kids music." In short, it belittles children. The pervasive attitude seems to be that they lack any mental or emotional sophistication and require complete pandering. Some "entertainment" of this sort actually outright lies to kids--in an effort to make the world seem a better place than it is? I don't know.

This CD from this morning was mostly very well-known songs, but my biggest beefs were with one I hadn't heard before. I hesitate to call it an "original" to the artists, because it is about three lines set repetitively to "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Which brings me to . . .

PET PEEVE #1: "New" words put to old songs. Not only is this unoriginal, it is confusing for kids. The fact that the alphabet song and "Twinkle, Twinkle" have the same tune is confusing enough already, but songs like "The Battle Hymn" have some literary and history importance and deserve to be treated with respect. Not plundered just because you lack creativity.

The lyrics of this song actually tell listeners that smiling will make their trouble "vanish like a bubble." Obviously, this is a LIE. But it's not even a useful lie--what does following this song's advice accomplish other than perhaps a few extra minutes of time out for grinning in mom's face while you're being punished?

PET PEEVE #2: Treating kids like they are stupid. Telling them something is true when it is patently false is, again, just going to confuse them. And perhaps make them grow up with a complex.

Okay, enough about that. After Aaron's show last night, I told him and Heather that I was going write today's blog ranting about ridiculous Belmont students who have mistaken Nashville for New York City. But any ire I felt toward them has cooled, and now I just think they are pathetic and immature. Plus, I've ranted enough for one day.

Lots of knitting and design work to do before I hit the hay tonight, so I'd better get working! Stay tuned to this space for a preview of the Miss Lynn Music logo, coming soon.